It is always a tragic moment when we realize that a woman we have cried with, and prayed with, and done all we could to help her to realize the humanity of her child, tells us that she has aborted. Often, it was not really her decision. The circumstances in her life sometimes threaten to crush her beneath their weight, and a baby seems to be the final blow. Often, it is not until long after the abortion that she realizes the loss of her child only adds to her list of regrets. Nothing good can come from causing the death of a child.
In our work at the AAA Center for Pregnancy Counseling, we see a lot of really tough situations. Years upon years of bad decisions, sometimes rising out of a home life which dooms them from the start, can take a horrible toll. As much as we sometimes hate to see new, innocent life brought into the midst of such turmoil and pain, we know without a doubt that death is never the solution. Every life is created for a purpose, and God can transform even the worst situations into something good.
Over 80% of the women who come to us intending to abort decide against it once they have gone through our process. Our goal is to give them the information and hope that they need to carry their baby to term. We truly believe that no woman wants to abort her child. Sometimes she just doesn’t feel that she has any other choice.
My co-worker often uses the quote: “A woman doesn’t want an abortion like she wants an ice cream cone or a Porsche. A woman wants an abortion like an animal caught in a trap wants to chew off its leg.” In our experience, that is really true. There are some women who have had several abortions who now enter into it with cold eyes and a “so what?” attitude. However, that is rarely true the first time it occurs. Unfortunately, human beings are capable of horrendous things once they have allowed their hearts to be hardened.
I am so glad to see laws being passed in many states that require women to see an ultrasound of their child before they can abort. We’ve personally seen the power of seeing a tiny beating heart, or tiny arms and legs moving around can have on a woman. Suddenly, her “pregnancy” becomes her “baby.” Supporters of abortion fight against these laws, arguing that an ultrasound is manipulative and puts unfair pressure on the woman. I would argue back that knowing what her child looks like before it is destroyed is every woman’s right.
We have heard of several cases where women have aborted a baby at a certain stage. Then, later in their lives they become pregnant with a baby they want and go in for an ultrasound. On that screen, they come face to face with a baby the same age as they one they aborted. Suddenly, the truth of what they have done hits them with brutal force and they are sent spiraling into a cycle of regret and pain. Had they been shown the ultrasound years earlier, before their abortion, they would have been spared the pain as well as having one more child to love.
Last night, we held a service at the center that has become very precious to us. We lit a candle for each precious child that we knew had been aborted by women who had come through our doors. These were babies we had prayed for and agonized over; little ones we had seen on the ultrasound screen and instantly loved. We took time to remember them as a way of honoring their value and worth, knowing that we may very well be the only ones who do.
We do this as much for ourselves as we do for them. Sometimes the pain we experience can almost be too much to bear. It should always break our hearts when life is needlessly thrown away and treated like garbage. We see the mothers treated as little more than rubbish themselves, and we long to show them a better way. We share about Jesus with each one that lets us, but we cannot make them believe or see the truth.
My work at the AAA Center for Pregnancy Counseling has solidified in me an awe for the beauty and miracle of life. Seeing tiny hearts beating away at five or six weeks after conception, and knowing that the same heart will continue to sustain life as long as it continues is a staggering concept. Each child is so unique, created by God for His purposes. We all lose when one of them dies; we will never have a chance to know all that they might have accomplished.
No one should ever pass into death without being remembered by someone. Each life deserves to be honored. That is why we lit our candles last night. Now we can be at peace and leave them safely in the arms of Jesus, as we continue on with our work to save more.
Keeping it true! Barb