Danielle and Samara: Two Big Reasons the AAA Center for Pregnancy Counseling Exists!

Danielle (not her real name) already had two little boys, aged one and three, and she did not want to have any more children. To complicate things, she was in the midst of a divorce and had been sleeping with another man, so she was not exactly sure who had fathered this baby.  Her ultrasound was unclear; there were things that just did not look right. However, she was also very early in her pregnancy. One thing that was clear was her desire to abort!

Danielle is just one of many women who enter the doors of the AAA Center for Pregnancy Counseling who are unsure of what they intend to do if they are pregnant. A growing number, like Danielle, have pretty much determined that they will abort. In fact, we have seen a dramatic increase in the last few months in this those who think their only real option is to destroy the child in their womb.

At the Center, we look at this as a sign that our advertising is being successful. This is exactly the type of woman we want to see: those who are feeling backed into a corner as far as abortion is concerned. The pressures of life, as well as a lack of support, make them feel that having a child is not an option. If not for us, they would probably head right for the abortion clinic. However, inside our doors they find a place of safety and support; a refuge where they can think things out and make a clear decision. It is also a place where, through the amazement of ultrasound, they will meet their precious child for the first time. For many, that meeting alone makes abortion impossible.

When one of our team called Danielle a few days later, things had already begun to turn around. She’d found the courage to tell her mother and sister and their loving support took her by surprise. She’d also been able to calculate that her husband was the baby’s father. When she told him, he amazed her by his excited response. Danielle verbally expressed her gratitude at finding us rather than the abortion clinic!

Two weeks later, Danielle’s ultrasound showed an active 9-week-old baby, with a strong heartbeat and tiny little legs and arms. She reported to us that her marriage was back on track and happier than ever. It is for women like Danielle that we exist!

In March of 2011, best-selling author and renowned speaker, Bruce Wilkinson, spoke at our banquet. Bruce has a passion for pregnancy centers and the work we do in saving unborn children, as well as the life-changing support given to their mothers. As Bruce spoke, God moved and we were able to raise an amazing amount of financial support. With it we were able to hire enough new staff to double the hours we are open, as well as to begin a television campaign.

With just these two changes a rather remarkable trend has occurred. Not only has the number of women we see drastically increased, but we are now drawing in an even greater number of women like Danielle: women who would have gone straight to the abortion clinic if they had not found us.  In fact, from June to November, the number of those who were determined to abort increased by 12%, from 45% to 57%! In other words, over half of the women who enter our doors and are actually pregnant fully intend to abort their child. After coming to us, only around 20% of those actually did. We are so grateful for the 80% who will now have a chance at life!

Sadly, there were also women like Samara (not her real name either) who was born in the Middle East, and whose family still lives there. As grateful as she was for our loving concern and care, she was terrified that her father and brother would kill her if they knew she was pregnant. Sadly, her boyfriend was not willing to marry her or even provide her with much support. Feeling backed into a corner she aborted, even though she told us she didn’t want to. Sometimes the pressures of life are just too great and fear wins the day.

Every day is a battle for life at the AAA Center for Pregnancy Counseling. Please pray for us and women like Samara and Danielle. Pray also that the support will continue to pour in so we can be here for them at their greatest moment of need.

Keeping it true!  Barb

Ben Nelson: Why Who We Elect is of Vital Importance to Life!

I have to confess that I celebrated a little yesterday when Senator Ben Nelson announced that he was not running for re-election. Actually, it is very sad the way his story ended. When he first ran for the Senate twelve years ago, he was an outspoken pro-life Democrat. Nelson was even endorsed by Nebraska Right to Life. However, in this past year, his pro-life voting record was a dismal 0%.

I’m sure that most of you are aware that his real turning point came in 2009 during the Healthcare debate. President Obama needed just one more vote to pass the massive bill, which includes clear language mandating coverage for abortion. Senator Nelson proclaimed over and over again that he would never vote for the bill unless those provisions were removed. Then, at the last-minute, he was offered what can only be called a bribe. If he would vote for the bill, the state of Nebraska would be exempt from having to pay for the expanded Medicaid coverage required in the law. Immediately Nelson agreed, and the bill was passed with the abortion provisions clearly in place. Now called the “Cornhusker Kickback,” it turned the tide of pro-life approval against him, and made him a laughingstock nationwide.

I will always remember the moment I heard about what he had done. It literally felt like a kick in the gut. Before that, I had never completely trusted the man, but I truly felt that his pro-life convictions were sincere. However, after that betrayal, I found it difficult to believe another thing he ever said, and my feelings are tame compared to many people I know.

I don’t normally discuss politics in this blog, but I really feel that Nelson’s example is helpful in assisting us to understand the vital role that our elected officials play in the life and death struggle in the womb. Abortion has become a political volleyball, tossed to and fro by both parties. I know there are many Christians who rebel against being aligned with one party or another, but the fact remains that when Democrats are in charge abortion rights become stronger and when Republicans take over pro-life legislation has a chance to survive.  That is not my opinion: it can be backed up with cold, hard statistics.

As we enter 2012, I cannot emphasize strongly enough how crucial the November elections will be. Although I have opinions in many areas, in this blog I deal solely with life issues. In that regard, I can emphatically state that unless Republicans gain both houses and the presidency, life in the womb will be in greater danger than ever before!

Here are some key reasons why this is true:

1. The new healthcare bill, commonly called ObamaCare, needs to be overturned. I am convinced that one thing holding back the tide of out-and-out slaughter of the unborn is that money for the procedure must now come out-of-pocket. If Medicaid and most insurance companies begin to pay for it, the numbers will skyrocket! Plus, you and I will be paying for their deaths.

2. The President is responsible for making selecting men and women to serve as judges on the higher levels. Federal judges determine whether or not state and federal pro-life legislation will be allowed to stand. Right now, it is thought that the Supreme Court may have enough votes to be sympathetic to some pro-life arguments. However, if any more justices are replaced by Obama, that balance will not stand. Another four years of judicial appointments may make it impossible to even uphold most state restrictions.

3. Planned Parenthood needs to be defunded. In spite of all the revelations of their support of sex trafficking, ignoring child abuse and misuse of funds, our government continues to pour money into this leading provider of abortion nationwide. Even when states have chosen not to fund them, the Obama administration has ordered them to restore the money. This will not change as long as Democrats run the show.

Am I saying there are no “good Democrats”? No, I’m not. However, the case of Ben Nelson shows that, when push comes to shove, Democrats stick with each other, as do Republicans. Do I think everything Republicans stand for is good? I’m not saying that either. However, in the case of defending pre-born children, the facts stand for themselves.

I heard sincere people of faith attempt to defend their vote for a Democrat in the last election by stating that issues such as caring for the poor have to be factored into the whole pro-life equation. Of course, that opens the whole issue as to whether social welfare programs actually help or damage the poor by trapping them into generational poverty. However, that is not the issue of this blog. For me, the bottom line is which vote will result in more deaths in the womb: Republicans or Democrats? In my opinion, the choice for those who call themselves pro-life is crystal clear.

Now that Ben Nelson is out of the race, it will be interesting to see what happens. I have not studied the candidates yet, but I have heard there are some individuals running who have strong convictions for life and are men and women of integrity. There is really not much more that we can ask. I have already begun to pray for the November elections. How about you?

Keeping it true!  Barb

Duggars Showing Pictures of “Miscarried” Child: Act of Courage or Exploitation?

I’m not sure how I missed this story when it happened. Perhaps it was the chaotic nature of the season. However, I think that the fact that Duggar family chose to take photographs of the precious tiny daughter that they lost is one which needs to be explored, especially in light of the outrage so many in the mainstream press are exhibiting towards it.

As I reported before, Michelle Duggar miscarried their tiny daughter, Jubilee, at five months gestational age. As soon as the little girl was “born,” the Duggars called in a non-profit organization called Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, to take photographs of their precious child.

This group was founded in 2005 by Cheryl Haggard after the death of her newborn son, Maddox. She reports that thousands of grieving parents have called upon them after the death of either their unborn or newly born children. The photographs, which are very tastefully done, bring a lot of comfort to those who are without any other remembrance of the children they tragically lose, but will never forget.

I personally know of several families who have done this very thing. Either right after death or in the last few minutes of life, they took time to hold their child and take precious pictures which have brought great comfort in the days and years ahead.  All of them have commented on what a crucial time of bonding and healing that was for them. Of course, their pictures never went out on the internet for all to see. So, what about that? Was that “distasteful” as some have said?

As far as I can tell, the family only intended the photographs to be shown at a private funeral service. However, a young cousin sent the pictures out on Twitter. TMZ, an organization which specializes in celebrity gossip, got ahold of those photos and posted them. The one I saw had the tiny feet blurred out, just like they do when something obscene is being shown, with the words, “Warning: Images May Be Disturbing.”  Seriously? Who in the world would find tiny little baby feet disturbing?

Well, I guess those who believe abortion is fine for babies the same age as little Jubilee Duggar would be a little troubled by them. Interestingly enough, there was not one article I read that denied that she was indeed a “baby” and not a “fetus.” I’m not sure what to make of that.  In most states, it is perfectly legal to abort these fully formed little ones. Jubilee is a great reminder to all of us of what a barbaric travesty this is!

For a lot of the bloggers, the tasteful pictures of Jubilee’s tiny hand and feet (nothing more is shown) was just one more opportunity for them to blast the family for having the “audacity” to have so many children. How dare they? Don’t they know there are too many people in the world as it is? What is wrong with them? And why does TLC encourage them by putting it all on TV?

The Duggars are definitely a wonderful anomaly in our society! They represent many people of faith who believe that God is the one who should decide how many children a family has. As Michelle Duggar said in a November 8 broadcast: “We always have a motto around our house- there’s always room for one more. And they are such a gift. We are so grateful for each one of them… We will love however many the Lord sees fit to give us.”  Of course, there are many who will never understand such a philosophy of life. It was the extremely vehement nature of some of the criticism that surprised me.

I am not certain why the Duggars made the choice to show their daily life on television, however I think they provide a positive, godly role model in the midst of a lot of the muck thrown around on reality television. Some argue that they are “exploiting their children”, but they seem pretty well-balanced and healthy to me! Little Jubilee’s funeral seems consistent with their strong pro-life values, as did her pictures. They were expressing to the world that all life is precious, even in the womb.

The Duggars claim that Jubilee’s pictures were not intended for the public, but I am glad they were released. They were a great reminder of the humanity of life in the womb.  There are very few families like the Duggars in the public eye who could get such wide-spread attention.  Unwittingly, some of the bloggers blasting the story are spreading the photos to the very ones who most need to see them. I pray that the sight of those perfect little feet and the tiny, beautiful hand will haunt their dreams and shake their misconceptions of life in the womb. Just like little Jubilee, unborn life is a beautiful, sacred and wonderful thing!

Keeping it true!  Barb

86 Teens Pregnant in One High School: Where is the Wake Up Call?

(This blog was originally posted early this year. The truths in it bear repeating. I will be back with a new blog tomorrow!)

Last summer I was in charge of closing up our office on Thursday nights. My companion for a few of those weeks was a 16-year-old girl taking our parenting program. Her mom threw her out of the home when she discovered she was pregnant, and now she lived with her toddler in a foster home. The reason we got to spend time together was because her foster parents always forgot (or couldn’t be bothered) to pick her up, until she finally tracked them down and begged them to come.

In spite of my irritation at having to stay late, I felt very sorry for this little girl. It wasn’t hard to draw her into conversation, since she loved her little boy with a passion. Her eyes would light up when she spoke of him and her plans for his birthday party. My heart broke as she told me how she and her baby slept in the same room, virtually surrounded by strangers. “At least I have my baby to love me,” she said one night. That comment haunts me to this day!

There was an article on Fox News this morning about a high school in Memphis where 86 girls were either pregnant or had recently had babies. They did not say how big the high school was, but even if it had 400 or 500 students, that would mean that about 1 out of every 5 students was having a baby! Yikes!

Fortunately, this was a wake up call for them. They launched a new campaign called “No Baby!” At first I was concerned as to what that meant, but discovered it is a program to teach students how to say no to sex. (You can imagine my relief!)

Now, you might think that this is a no-brainer: girls should just stop having sex. I have learned that many young woman have no idea that they can or should do this. All their lives they have seen their own mother having sex with a series of men, all outside of marriage. Then she turns on the television or goes to a movie and what does she see? Girls jumping into bed at the end of every date. And the music, well, it is so disgusting that I don’t even want to go there. I’ll suffice to say that she isn’t learning how to say no (or much that should be repeated on this page!)

Here at the AAA Center for Pregnancy Counseling, we have a team that goes into the schools and teaches young men and women to say no to sexual activity. They do this by speaking value; that each person has great worth and hope for the future which can be destroyed by cheaply giving themselves away. Our team tells students that sex is a great gift that should be saved for a future spouse and not given away to just anyone.

To prove this point, a piece of paper cut in the shape of a heart is held up to the class. For each sexual encounter that occurs before marriage, a piece is torn off. With only three or four tears, the heart is already significantly diminished; with many it is almost destroyed. Handing it to the class the speaker says, “When you give your future husband or wife your heart, this is what it will look like: damaged and torn. Is this what you want your life partner to give to you?”

Even though our speakers are busy everyday, and are now in almost all the Omaha Metro area schools, and they have successfully impacted thousands of young people, it is not enough! The forces of the world, all shouting the opposite message, are just too strong! In order to even begin to turn the tide we would need to hire a huge team to provide follow-up; perhaps forming clubs for support to those who desire to say no, but don’t have the strength. Unfortunately, until we change our culture, I think we will just be spitting into the wind.

I often think of the little son of that teenage girl I told you about, the one in foster care. It is so unfair to expect this tiny boy to provide emotional support to a mother who is still a child herself. Every child needs both a mother and a father, adults who can nurture them and provide for their needs. I fear that most children of teen-mothers are robbed of their childhood, just as their mothers were robbed of their’s.

I don’t see a happy ending in sight. Of course, at the Center we will continue to press ahead and do all we can. Occasionally, we pull one or two out of the fire (through the grace of God!)

Sadly, there are no shortcuts with this. Our entire society is in desperate need of a complete overhaul. We must leave behind all the rhetoric and mind games and realize that until sex returns to the confines of marriage, teen pregnancies and std’s will continue to rise and nothing will change.

Lest you give up in desperation, I would ask you to do one thing. Please look around and find someone whose life is stuck in hopelessness and despair. Pray for them, and ask God to use you to make a difference in their life. We can all impact someone. Who knows? They might just be the person who will change the world!

Keeping it true!  Barb

Modern Day Heroes: Living Out Integrity and Courage in A Culture of Death

(This blog was originally posted on April 27. It ranked as one of the most read blogs of the year. Since I am preparing for Christmas, I thought you might like an opportunity to read it again! I hope you all have a wonderful weekend celebrating the birth of our Saviour, Jesus Christ!)

Statistics tell us that the majority of Americans consider themselves to be pro-life. They do not like the fact that millions of unborn children have been killed in the womb. Some of them think early abortions are acceptable, but think later ones should be outlawed. Others are against them unless the mother’s life or health are endangered, or in case of rape or incest. Then there are those, like myself, who do not think that abortion is ever acceptable, under any conditions. (The only exception might possibly be when it is a choice between saving the life of the woman or the child. Even then I think all efforts need to be made to save both!)

I just read about two men whom I would put in a whole different category of “Pro-life.” They fit into an  exclusive and small group of people who have made a personal sacrifice to back up their words. They were  pro-life even when it hurt to do so.

Edwin Graning was working as a driver for the Capital Area Rural Transportation System in Austin, Texas in January of last year when he got a call to pick up two women. When he saw their destination, he immediately called his supervisor and told her this was a job he could not do. The women were on their way to have abortions at Planned Parenthood.

Mr. Graning was promptly fired for his refusal. In turn, he sued the company, stating that he had been asked to participate in something to which he was strongly opposed. The County Commissioner, Ronny Hibler, shot back, “There’s a lot of things as county commissioner that I don’t like, but I do it because it’s my job.”  To which I would reply that there are things we don’t like and there are deeply seated convictions of right and wrong. I wonder if Mr. Hibler has anything that he believes in strongly enough to die for, or at least to jeopardize his employment. If not, I feel sorry for him.

Edwin Graning just won his law-suit against his old company. They decided it was cheaper to settle than to take him to court. They now make it clear that drivers must pick up anyone who calls, no matter what the purpose.  At least their drivers can now count the cost before coming into their employment.

My second hero is Tim Roach of Faribault, Minnesota. Tim is an electrician and had been out of work for over a year when he got a call about a job which would pay him quite a bit. His unemployment benefits were about to run out, so this opportunity seemed like a god-send. It turns out that it was the exact opposite.

Tim’s heart sank when he heard that the position was building foreman for a new Planned Parenthood. However, to his credit, he didn’t hesitate for a moment in turning it down. Gone was the income that his family urgently needed, but Tim knew that if he helped with the construction, he, too, would be liable for what went on there.  I think our hearts are truly shown in the split second decisions that we make.

Sadly, we see many women and families who say they have always been against abortion, but are now considering it for their own situation. Statistics show that the abortion rate is just as high among church goers as the general community.  As far as I can see, the only time being pro-life really matters is in those critical moments. Talk is cheap: it is our actions which demonstrate our convictions.

In our 27 years of pro-life work, my husband and I have been privileged to meet many heroes the faith: men and women who willingly surrendered their freedom, livelihoods and reputations for the sake of life. Unfortunately, I think our convictions have not even begun to really be put to the test. Things have gotten increasingly worse over the years, and the battle against abortion has gotten tougher to fight.

It is under fire that we will really see the true colors of conviction shine! And that will be a glorious thing, even if the sacrifice is hard. Are you pro-life? Be careful how you answer. The level of your commitment may well be tested. Let’s band together and finish the race strong!

Keeping it real!  Barb

Woman Kills Her Baby and 2 Older Children: The Urgency of Understanding Postpartum Depression

Last Friday, Sara McMeen waited for her two sons, 8-year-old Skyler and 7-year-old Ian, to get off the school bus. She then shot them both in the head. Before a neighbor could intervene, she also killed her 10-month-old baby. Inside the house was the murdered body of her live-in boyfriend. Finally, the 30-year-old woman turned the gun on herself.

Her family and residents of her small town are left grieving and wondering why a tragedy like this could happen. What would cause a mother to kill her own children? My immediate thought, especially since a baby was involved, that it might be a case of severe postpartum depression.

Hormones are such a strange thing. There are very few women who have not had their moods swing up and down by the course of their monthly cycle. Sometimes it leaves you feeling like a raving lunatic. However, nothing can be quite as severe as the depression that can hit women right after the birth of a new child.

There is a clear physical explanation for how this condition can occur. Once the placenta is delivered after birth, levels of estrogen and progesterone plummet. By the time the newborn is one week old, levels of progesterone, which were 20 to 30 times higher during pregnancy, now drop to next to nothing. Estrogen drops to close to one percent of the level at pregnancy. This sends some women into a debilitating level of despair.

At its worst, this depression can reach the level of postpartum psychosis. It is estimated that 5% of those that suffer from this kill themselves and 4% kill their children. Many believe that this is the condition that drove Andrea Yates to drown her five children in 2001.  The real tragedy of all this is that postpartum depression, even at the psychotic level, can be treated with medication.  Tragically, shame and ignorance keep many from even seeking help.

In 2002, Carol Saukakos was a cheerful, energetic woman who had just given birth to her first child, a son named Alexander. Both she and her husband were very excited. At first, everything appeared to be going great. Then, when the baby was about 4 months old, things began to change. Carol described it as a “veil coming down over her head.”

Suddenly, she appeared to be distraut all the time. Nursing became more and more frustrating, and she was sure she was starving her baby. Then she began to be consumed with suicidal thoughts. She was convinced that life would be better for little Alexander without her. In spite of almost constant supervision, and a battery of psychological tests which warned that she was in a serious state, Carol hung herself. Her husband is now battling for greater awareness to be mandated so other families will not share their same tragic fate.

Experts say that about 80% of all new mothers have feelings of sadness and anxiety right after the birth of a baby. I remember feeling like my world had been tossed upside down and, as thrilled as I was for the new child, a part of me longed return to the routine and order of my life as it had been. As a result, I felt guilty, which led to even greater anxiety and depression.

Fortunately, I was one of the majority that pass through the “baby blues” fairly quickly.  My life soon settled into a new routine, and happiness returned. However, for some, chemical imbalances in their bodies make this impossible. Their depression spirals out of control, bringing with it overwhelming guilt and condemnation. Some find it hard to bond with the child whose birth has brought all this upon them. Stress causes nursing to become more difficult, and round and round it goes.

If this is happening to you or to anyone you know, please seek expert advice. If your doctor doesn’t take you seriously, find one that will. There are antidepressants that will help. Some are even safe to take when nursing. This is nothing to be ashamed of: it is not your fault. Postpartum depression is a chemical imbalance.

Depression can especially be a problem during the holidays. Expectations run very high, and families can sometimes be tough to deal with. New mothers, especially, should let others take on the bulk of the work. If there is one in your family, please be protective of them. Too much stress and strain could push them over the edge.

In today’s world, young mothers tend to be more isolated than ever before. Families live further apart, and the extended family unit is not there to advise and comfort like they were in the past.  In my opinion, this makes for a riper field for depression to flourish. Young women feel inadequate and alone. Their shame keeps them from seeking help.

I feel very blessed to be part of a church where the young mothers play an active role in one another’s lives. The Body of Christ should take over the role of a family, especially with those who do not have one of their own, or whose families are not very nurturing. Please look out for those in your own life. Tragedies such as the ones above never need to occur!

Keeping it true!  Barb

Tim Tebow: Football, Jesus, and the Unborn

I realize that some of you may be sick of hearing about Tim Tebow. It seems like we hear his name every time we turn around. He actually accomplished somewhat of a miracle last night: I watched an entire football game. Now, granted, we had company over, and it would have seemed rude to go into the other room, but I did pay more attention than I normally would. Why? Because Tim Tebow was playing, of course!

Now, I am going to add a disclaimer to all my comments. I worry about young men like Tim who spiral into fame. I know he experienced some of this in college, but now it is on a national level. People are holding him up to what may be an unattainable level of excellence.  He is, after all, an imperfect person who loves a perfect Savior.  As far as I can see, Tim is lifting up Jesus, but the world is lifting up Tim. That, added to the huge amount of money he is making, can be heady stuff. This young brother needs our prayers more than he needs our adoration.

Many are wondering why Tim is receiving so much more attention than other Christian athletes who are not shy about speaking about and showing their faith. It is pretty common to see professional athletes kneel or point heavenward while expressing thanks. Many have tossed out their theories about what sets Tim apart, both for acclamation and attacks. I think it is because he speaks openly about the unborn and the value of the human life in the womb.

Tim and his mother kicked open that wonderful door with their Super Bowl ad this year. When I began to hear all the hype about the ad I thought, wow, they must really be laying it on the line. Then, that night, my husband and I almost missed it. At first we thought, is that all there is? However, as I gave it more thought, I realized that it was wonderful in its simplicity. (In case you haven’t seen it, you can find it on YouTube by clicking this link.)

The story of the miracle of his birth is inspiring! His parents were missionaries in the Philippines. His father was showing The Jesus Film to a crowd when he was overcome with sadness at the whole abortion atrocity in our nation and around the world. He prayed that God would give him a son whose life would be a miracle and who would preach the truth.

Soon after, Tim’s mother became pregnant. Early in the pregnancy, she suffered from an infection which was caused by an amoeba. Supposedly she fell into a coma. The drugs which were used to rouse her from the coma and to treat the infection resulted in a placental abruption, where part of the placenta detaches from the uterine wall. This often causes miscarriage, and can also threaten the life of the mother.

When told that she should abort, Pam Tebow refused to even consider it. She reports that the medical team told her that her baby was just a “mass of fetal tissue” and that her life could be in danger. However, the Tebows believed that God had given them this baby for a purpose, and they did not believe in abortion. So, they trusted that God would take care of them.

Pam’s physical problems continued throughout the pregnancy. She suffered from other tropical diseases, refusing the medication since it could cause harm to the child. After Tim was safely born, his mother passed a large blood clot as well. The doctors said it had developed where the placenta had become detached. Just enough of the life-giving placenta had remained to give the tiny, growing baby life. It was truly a miracle!

It is my opinion that this story of love and sacrifice for an unborn child is the aspect of Tim Tebow’s live that is more hated and despised than the outward signs of his faith.  It also doesn’t help that he has been winning football games! He was pretty much written off after college as being a player, especially as a quarterback, who would not make the transition of the pros. And now he is winning in a very dramatic fashion, taking the Denver Broncos to the top of their division! I don’t believe that God helps teams win games,  but I do believe that when players give their lives and talents to Him, God will help them to be the best they can be.

I think my favorite reason for enjoying Tim’s success is that he gives abortion a face. It was not a “shapeless blob of fetal cells” which would have been aborted in that hospital, it would have been Tim Tebow. If not for his mother’s courage, he would not be here.  It is overwhelming to think of all the “faces” who are missing from our world; all the amazing talent and heroes and world changers that were lost to us! Yes, I know their vast numbers would also include criminals and those who would harm the world, but that was never our choice to make! God alone creates life, and only He should decide the fate of every unique person in the womb.

I also rejoice that Tim has announced he will remain chaste until marriage. We need more examples like him. I just pray that, in the midst of fame, he can remain true. He seems well grounded in his faith and his family, but the pull of the world can be deceptive as well as strong.

It is hard not to take Tim’s football wins as a type of victory for life and the Gospel. Maybe that is why last night’s loss to the Patriots was good. This is just football after all! Losing is just as big a part of life as winning. However, it would be fun to see Tim take his team all the way to the Superbowl and let the good guys have a victory in this world, as well as in the next.

Football aside, the world needs more men and women like Tim who are willing to unashamedly stand for the truth. His generation is the first one in a while in whom the majority are pro-life. Let’s pray that many will have the courage to proclaim their convictions, no matter what size platform life has given them. If they do, perhaps we will see abortion on demand eliminated in our lifetime!

Keeping it true!  Barb

(One more note: after last Thursday’s blog, the woman I was writing about, Dr. Mitu Khurana sent me the following note: “Thanks !!!! No i havent been able to fight back the visitation rights, In fact to pressurize me, my husband has filed for custody. So in a way am still afraid for their lives. Thanks for all your support and prayers.” Please continue to lift her and her daughters up so that her husband will not gain custody!)

Modern Day Hero: Woman Saves Her Twin Girls From India’s Rampage of Feticide

In February of 2005, Dr.  Mitu Khurana discovered she was pregnant with twins. Immediately her mother-in-law demanded that she undergo tests to discover whether the babies were boys or girls. Mitu refused. She knew she would love her children no matter what sex they were. She also knew that if it was discovered that they were girls, her husband and in-laws would relentlessly pressure her to abort.

Even though having an ultrasound to discover the sex of the baby with the intent of aborting if it is a girl is illegal, the practice remains rampant in India. It is estimated that nearly 50,000 girls are aborted every month. It is difficult to know how many baby girls are also abandoned or murdered after they are born. As a result, Indian men now outnumber women by nearly 40 million!

Why in the world would a nation do such a thing to itself? The answer is money. Indian tradition demands that the parents of a daughter pay a huge dowry to get her married.  Many families feel they cannot pay the steep price which is expected. Therefore, they abort their girl babies in hopes of a son.

Mitu Khurana was one woman who fought back. When she refused to submit to the testing to determine the gender of her babies, her family brought down such pressure upon her that it almost amounted to torture. They denied her food and water in their attempt to break down her will.

Finally one night her husband served her a cake made with eggs, to which she is extremely allergic. Her reaction was so severe that Mitu had to be rushed to the hospital. While there, her in-laws persuaded a doctor to test for the sex of the babies. To their great dismay, both were girls.

The pressure to abort her daughters became intense. If not both, then at least one had to go. Or, if not abortion, then she should give them away for adoption. When Mitu stood her ground, her husband demanded that she take a paternity test, refusing to believe that he could be the father of twin daughters. Finally, in a fit of rage, he through her out of the house and she returned to her parents.

In August of 2005, Mitu gave birth two months prematurely. In an attempt to save her marriage, she returned to her husband’s home. After four months of being ignored and disdained, she witnessed her mother-in-law push one of the babies down the stairs. In fear for their lives, she fled.

In April of 2008, one month after her husband demanded a divorce so he could “remarry and have sons,” Mitu tried to seek justice through the law. After all, in all of this debacle, countless laws had been broken. Unfortunately, in India, most of the officials also believe that having girls is a bad thing and were in sympathy with the family. At one point she was told to “reconcile with her husband,” and that she could “get pregnant again and fulfill the wish of her husband for a son.”

Mitu continues to do battle in the courts, but so far she is the only one who has paid a big price. “Every authority, be it the police, the judiciary, or the hospital where I was working, are trying to force me to withdraw my cases. It was due to this harassment and certain threats that I had to leave my job recently.” However, she remains determined, knowing that her fight for her daughters, as well as other Indian girls is well worth it. In fact, the very future of her nation is at stake.

Besides the huge tragedy of the death of so many girls, born and unborn, India is now facing a severe shortage of women for Indian men to marry. The country is well aware of the dilemma, but, so far, it has not brought about any change. Families know that something has to happen, but refuse to be the ones to sacrifice.  Let someone else have the girls and go into debt to pay the dowry.

For me, the thought of this whole travesty is horrifying to consider. It is almost impossible to diagnose gender until at least the 15th week of pregnancy.  By then these little girls are fully formed, and the abortions would be horrifying experiences for both mother and child. I am sure there are women who comply with this generationally ingrained barbaric tradition, however, I’m also sure that many are forced to comply. As Mitu’s story shows, once a woman marries, she can become a virtual slave to her husband and in-laws.

Mitu Khurana continues with her heroic battle. This summer her husband was able to gain visitation rights with the daughters he sought to destroy. Mitu was attempting to fight the order, fearing for the lives of her now 5-year-old daughters. I have not been able to discover if she has been successful, but I will continue to search and keep you posted.

Please pray for this courageous woman! India needs its mothers to stand up for their daughters and fight back! The abuse has spread to other nations: foreign women have been taken as sex slaves to provide Indian men with wives, adding another vile crime to India’s list of offenses against humanity.

Mitu is the first woman to file a court case against her husband and in-laws. So far the courts of Delhi have not responded with any kind of justice. Lord, please protect Mitu and her daughters and help the women of India to find the strength to follow her example and save their little girls from destruction!

Keeping it true!  Barb

Duggar Family Buries Little Jubilee Shalom: The Heartbreak of Miscarraige

When the news came out last week that  Michelle Duggar’s (TLC‘s 19 Kids and Counting) latest pregnancy had ended in miscarriage, it made me sad, but the way the press presented it also struck me as odd. She had been at the doctor for her ultrasound to determine the sex of the baby when the discovery was made. I know from my work at the Center, that she had to be at least 18 weeks along. That is a fairly big baby and I knew there had to be more to the story than was being told.

In 1980, I was the mother of a 9 month old when I discovered that I was pregnant again.  After the shock passed away that I could be expecting again that soon, I got excited! We wanted several children, and each new life is a gift even if it does not arrive according to our timetable.  I went to the doctor in the 2nd month and rejoiced to hear the heartbeat, contentedly assured that this pregnancy would proceed as smoothly as the first.

When I returned for my next appointment, no heartbeat could be found. Quietly they rolled in the ultrasound machine and searched all over, but there was no sign of life. The baby had died. The doctor told me to go home and wait for contractions to begin. I have vivid memories of driving away from his office feeling like I was under a sentence of death. By the time I actually miscarried a few days later, there was a sense of relief that it was over, but I was soon enveloped in deep emptiness and grief.

I may have never physically seen my child, but I already had dreams for him or her. The maternal bonds had formed and I loved that little one with all my heart. I am sure the pain was not as bad as it might have been had my child been further developed or  already born, but, nevertheless, pain seared my heart. I still cringe when I hear the term ‘miscarriage’ casually tossed around. No matter how tiny the unborn child is, their death is still a loss to not only their parents, but also to a world who will never know their presence.

I know that miscarriage is often God’s way of taking care of those who could not survive in this world. Unlike abortion, it is a natural process. In spite of all this, I was so glad to hear that the Duggars were holding a service in honor of their little girl, Jubilee. For she wasn’t simply a ‘miscarriage’ like the press reported her to be; she was a beloved child and her family is grieving her loss.

By 18 weeks, little Jubilee would have been fully formed. In fact, by the 12th week everything is in place for life to occur, each and every necessary organ is in place. All the child needs to do past that point is to grow. Most likely, unless something had gone wrong, she would have looked like a tiny little doll.

According to reports, Michelle Duggar went home after the doctor discovered that little Jubilee’s heart was no longer beating, and there she gave birth. The father, Jim Bob, made the following comment: “This is life, and I understand that we are going through something that many others have. You think about the what-ifs, but God gives us the strength to go on. We won’t be able to see this child’s life and the phases that we’ve seen for our other children, but we know we will see this child in heaven one day. We are thankful for each child, and we are blessed to have the children we have here and the ones we will meet someday in heaven.”

I also have the hope and knowledge that one day I will meet and hold the child that was lost to me. It is tragic that so many people who have lost little ones live without that comfort. Or, of those who have had their feelings of grief negated by those who would deny the humanity of their precious baby. Each life, no matter how tiny, deserves someone to grieve their loss.

I am so glad I found the ‘rest of the story’ concerning the Duggars and their little girl. Somehow the news that they ‘lost the pregnancy to miscarriage’ didn’t cut it for me. In the first place, it wasn’t just a pregnancy, it was a precious daughter. And, second, it was more than just a miscarriage, it was the death of a daughter, grand-daughter and sister. Her name was Jubilee Shalom Duggar, and she was fearfully and wonderfully made.

Have Female Pro-Lifers Lost Their Status As “Real Women”?

Did you know that those of us who hold pro-life convictions are considered “non-women” by some in the pro-abortion movement? It’s true! The shear snobbery of it always amazes me. Take for instance an article I read this morning in the Huffington Post entitled, “The True Meaning of Womanhood.“

The author of this piece is Dr. Logan Levkoff. The credentials listed under her name are: Sexologist and AASECT certified sexuality educator.  In this particular article she explores the whole topic of what it really means to be a woman. Since I always thought I was a woman solely based on my genetics, I was intrigued. Was there something more I needed to do?

Right away she assured me that, as a woman, I am more than a physical being. There is much more to me than my “female parts.” Okay, that was reassuring. Dr. Levkoff assured her young students that they can also be free from the “caricatures of ‘traditional’ women’s roles, offering us polarizing representations of motherhood, such as women devoid of any sexuality (the stressed out housewife in ‘mom jeans’ for example...)” Hmmmm…. so women who stay at home and wear ‘mom jeans’ are totally without sexuality? How in the world could she possibly presume such a ridiculous thing? Or, are they just not sexual in the way the learned doctor defines things?

The article continues with a discussion of women who have lost their breasts to breast cancer.  Are they any less of a woman without their breasts? In this point I can totally agree with the author: absolutely not! We are not the sum of our body parts. The doctor states that the vital component of being a woman is who we are inside.

Of course, I think this entire discussion is ridiculous. I am a woman because I was born one. It has absolutely nothing to do with how I believe or what I do with my life. I cannot lose my female status by anything I do or say (except, I guess, unless I choose a certain type of surgery, but I’m not going to get into that whole topic right now!) A woman is still a woman even if in all appearances and mannerisms she looks and talks like a man!

However, for the sake of this blog I will play Dr. Levkoff’s game and pretend there is such a thing as a “real woman.” What does she think qualifies a female for this role? She states: “Instead, I believe that being a woman is a state of mind (does that mean a man can be one?) and a commitment to social action. We act as a moral compass and a sounding board for partners, friends and family. We believe in standing up for what’s right.” Actually, that would be my definition for a responsible citizen, but okay, yes, women should do that as well.

However, it appears that, according to the good doctor, ‘what is right’ has a very limited definition. She continues: “Yet, if women are our moral centers, that moderating influence speaking up and out about social justice, what does that say about the Bachmanns and Palins of the world? Perhaps they only further prove my point. They may have all the ‘right’ biological parts, but they have all the wrong sensibilities. They don’t speak up for women. They don’t believe that women should have control over their bodies, nor do they support men and women who love their own gender…… Is this true womanhood?”

So let me get this straight: women who believe that unborn children are human beings with value and worth and stand up against abortion are not women in the true sense? Because we don’t agree with Dr. Levkoff’s social and moral philosophies, we are now some neutered, sexless beings?  Talk about arrogant, mindless snobbery! It is a good thing that women like her do not truly have the power to assign our worth or define who we really are.

I refuse to turn around and do the same thing that the good doctor just did to me; I will not attack her womanhood. That was given to her by God and no one can ever take it from her. Instead, I will ask if true “women of compassion” believe that others should be told the truth about how abortion can hurt them and adversely impact the rest of their lives, as well as taking the life of their unborn child, or allow them to walk in deception, brainwashed into thinking that they are just “controlling their own bodies?”  Are we acting as a true ‘moral compass’ if we close our eyes while the world’s unborn baby girls are being slaughtered simply because of their sex?  The list goes on and on and on.

In this discussion, let’s leave behind the absurd notion of what a “real woman” is and, instead, focus on what is truly right and good. It really comes down to whether one believes in the truth of the Scriptures or not.  The chasm between those who look to Jesus as their “moral compass,” and those who reject Him is incredibly wide and deep. The Bible tells us that the Gospel is “foolishness” to those who don’t believe.

I know all this, and yet it amazes me that people who consider themselves compassionate liberals would argue that a good portion of females should not be considered “real women” based on their beliefs. It is absurd, but after listening to news outlets denigrating women like Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman day after day, we can easily fall into that trap. We need to resist and then we speak the truth in love.  We need to stand up, as women of compassion, for those who cannot defend themselves. And, we need to resist the lie that we are any less of a woman because of our moral convictions.

Keeping it true!  Barb