Just when I think I have seen it all, I come upon an article which leaves me speechless (although usually not very long!) Yesterday, I came upon an article on the Huffington Post entitled, “Comfort Sex: Is it a Bad Thing?” Well, that depends on the definition of the term “Comfort Sex.”
I really don’t think I can describe it as well as Jill Di Donato, the author of the piece. Ms. Di Donato is an Adjunct Professor of English at the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York. From the gist of the article, I also assume that she is a single woman, probably in her 30′s or early 40′s.
The article begins like this: “Have you ever gotten that craving for sex, but not for usual reasons? After a particularly rotten day, a silly fight with one of my best friends, or may just one of those days when nothing seems to go my way, I tend to call a certain ‘acquaintance’ who is more than happy to have me over for a few hours between the sheets (how kind of him.) This guy isn’t someone I’d date, or even consider a friend (seriously?) but he does have a knack for taking me from forlorn to very content faster than any other remedy I’ve tried.”
Wow! And we seriously wonder why we have skyrocketing rates of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Casual sex has become the norm, being treated on the same level as going to a movie or having dinner. In fact, Ms. Di Donato goes on to say: “Here’s what I’ve decided: Sometimes, single people want sex like we want fried chicken or ice cream or a box of Entenmann’s chocolate covered doughnuts. It’s a quick fix– you don’t expect it to sustain you, and you know it probably wouldn’t be good for you to indulge in too, too often (just those times that it doesn’t give you a deadly disease, if you can tell when those times will be) It’s what you want right now, though, and right now, that’s okay.”
I realize that I live a somewhat insular existence, but the extremely casual, blase way that sex is treated in this piece blows my mind, especially considering the state our world is in. Obviously this woman is older than most of the girls we see at the Center, but her generation is hardly immune to the raging consequences of irresponsible sex. In the last decade, STD rates in women and men 45 and older have more than doubled, with some increasing by as much as 127%! Women over the age of 30 also account for a quarter of all abortions. And, yet, in articles such as this, found on sites all over the internet (including conservative leaning Fox News!) men and women are encouraged to hop into bed with whomever they would like at any time. Oh, and at the end they usually add the note that it might be a good idea to wear a condom.
In my search, I also stumbled across a piece which was advising single parents what to do if your children knock on your bedroom door when you are having sex. The whole tone treated it very lightly, isn’t it all so inconvenient and awkward, but really, what is the big deal? Well, the big deal is that those children will almost certainly be sexually active themselves, modeling their behavior after mom or dad. Sometimes I think that this generation really doesn’t have a chance.
How do we get our society back on track? It really is no wonder that fewer and fewer couples end up getting married, and half of those that do will face divorce. God intended sex to be a wonderful, but sacred, bond between a man and woman who have committed their lives to one another. I know this concept is considered horribly archaic, but it is true nevertheless. And, unless we return to it we have not even begun to see the ravages of disease which will sweep through those who use their bodies in ways which are so destructive. God did not make us to be able to sustain sexual relations with so many people and in such careless ways.
Actually, this makes me very sad. This woman really thinks she has found the secret to comfort and sexual satisfaction. Actually she has no idea! Sex is meant to be an amazing bond that grows over the course of a lifetime. I have seen too many young women who have been used and abused by selfish partners and think that is all there is. Someone needs to show them there is so much more, without fear of disease or unwanted pregnancies. They certainly won’t hear it from women like Jill Di Donato.
Keeping it real! Barb