Danger, Danger Will Robinson!

Okay, I’ll admit it: I grew up in the ‘60’s.  I loved the show, Lost in Space. To watch it now the special effects seem pretty lame- but it was  awesome then. Anyway, there was a robot that used to follow the family’s young son around. Now, this kid was always getting into trouble, at which point the robot would call out the now familiar phrase. 

Here at the Pregnancy Center we see many young women. When I find out that someone who has had many sexual partners, I want to become like that robot. Danger, danger: she is at extremely high risk for an STD. When a woman (or a man) has sex with 3 partners, it is the same as having sex with seven people (all of her partners, plus each of the partners he has had.) Doubling that to six partners will increase the number she has slept with exponentially to 63! And, if you double that number to 12, it will mean she has slept with 4,095 people, along with all their diseases. If I were a betting person, I would wager a lot of money that she would not only have one, but many sexually transmitted diseases. 

Let’s take Chlamydia the most common STD in our country. Most people with the disease have no symptoms (or they are very mild!) Therefore, it is often not even diagnosed until it is pretty advanced. In the early stages it can be easily cured with an antibiotic. However the advanced stages can be severe. It can cause Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, which can lead to infertility or worse. About 3 million Americans, most of them between 15 and 24 are infected every year. Statistics show that up to 50% of all sexually active women will get Chlamydia by age 30.

And this is only one of many diseases! It is a cesspool out there and if things don’t change it is only going to get worse. The good news is that the solution to all this is pretty simple. The bad news is that it will call for a radical change of behavior, which most people (along with the music, television and movie industries) are just going to deny, or laugh at. They will tell you to slap on a condom and live like you want. However, what if they are wrong? What if that won’t help? What if things keep getting worse and worse and worse? 

Is a society with no sex outside of monogamous marriage possible?  What am I- some kind of pious prude? Don’t I know how strong sexual urges are? However, can you think of another solution? If so, I would really like to hear it. I’m serious. 

Next Monday I will talk about the consequences of STD’s on pregnancy. It gets serious,  not only because a second person is involved, but because it can make the condition much more serious for the woman as well, especially if she aborts. 

I really haven’t meant to get preachy- I just think you deserve to know the truth. I don’t want to see you get hurt.  You need to be able to weigh the consequences for yourself. 

Keeping it true!  Barb

STD’s- A Douglas County Nightmare!

Okay, I know that nobody really wants to talk about STD’s (Sexually Transmitted Diseases.) It is not a pleasant topic. Maybe that is one of the problems. It is one of those nasty things that we think might happen to other people, but never to us. And, for some, that might be true. If you are married and both you and your spouse only have sex with one another, then there would be almost no chance of getting infected.  Or, if you are single and are not having sex, then you are probably safe as well (unless you are intimate with someone who is infected. Then, even a kiss can put you at risk!)

Amazing as it seems, Douglas County (including the city of Omaha and surrounding area) has a very high rate of STD’s.  Chlamydia, which is probably the most common STD in the United States, is 70% higher in Douglas County than in the rest of the United States (according to 2007 statistics compiled by Douglas County Health.)  For gonorrhea (the 2nd highest STD) the rate in Douglas County is 50% higher than for the rest of the country.  Wow! I don’t know about you, but that blows me away. By my definitions, that qualifies as an epidemic!

Now, some organizations recommend condoms as a solution to the problem.  I’m not denying that sometimes condom use might help- but I think it is wrong to give people a feeling that as long as they use a condom they should be safe. That is simply not true! I read a report by the Center for Disease Control (CDC) and at best they said that condoms might help.  Not meaning to get gross, but sometimes STD’s create sores outside of the immediate genital area. Contact with them can spread the disease. Also, condom use needs to be done correctly and carefully.  Plus, statistics show us that condom use has risen right along with the sharp increase of STD’s. In my opinion, that does not count as success.

However, take comfort: there are some things you can do to decrease your risk. I will talk about these in tomorrow’s blog. In the meantime, if you suspect you have an STD please get tested. There are some symptoms (itching, discharge, sores) but many STD’s have no symptoms at all. If you have had several partners, you should definitely get tested. (If you live in Douglas County, call 444-7750 for more information.)

In the next few days I will also address the special dangers of STD’s if you are pregnant. Unfortunately, we only have the resources at our Center to test for STD’s is you have a positive pregnancy test. If you think that might be the case, please call our helpline at 402-397-0600 and make an appointment. Everything we do is confidential and free!

Keeping it true!   Barb

There is always hope!

I am going to a funeral this morning and a memorial service this evening to remember and celebrate the lives of two amazing people who died, in my opinion,  well before their time.  However, the one thing I can say about both of them is that they came through difficult situations to become people who  made a significant difference in their world.  I was very honored to know both of them and will miss them greatly.

Are you going through a tough time? Maybe you are pregnant and your life seems like a mess. I have known many women who were abandoned by the baby’s father once they told them a baby was on the way. Or to have him deny the baby is his. Family and friends even sometimes turn away. Or, her financial or school or work situation made it seem impossible to have a child. 

The reality is that no matter what choice is made, once a woman gets pregnant there is a new life which will greatly impact the lives of many people. If she keeps the baby, that child will obviously change her life. However, even if abortion or adoption are chosen, the woman’s life, and perhaps the lives of her family,  will  still be impacted forever. These are decisions that cannot be left behind.

One big thing that I learned from both my friends whose lives I will be celebrating today is that the best choices can sometimes be the hardest ones to make.  However, in the end they can also reap the richest rewards.  My friend Deanna’s grandchild had a deadly condition which was diagnosed in the womb. They knew that little boy would probably die soon after birth. However, they clung to hope and that miracles were possible. They also believed that life and death are up to God and not for us to decide so they never even considered abortion. That precious child only lived a short time, but the entire family agrees that they were glad they got to hold him and love him before he left them.

Life can be really hard. If you are pregnant, and you feel all alone, please call us! That is why we are here. We want to help even if it is just  to be a friend. Our number is 402-397-0600.  There is always hope!

Keeping it true!  Barb

Pregnant? Feeling Sick? You’re not alone!

On New Year’s Day several years ago we had invited friends over to watch the football games. It was our tradition to have everyone bring a pot of their favorite chili. I had been looking forward to the spending the day with some of our favorite people, but, instead, I spent it in the bathroom, very sick to my stomach. I thought at first it was the flu, but found out a couple of weeks later that I was pregnant with our first child.

With each of my pregnancies, the food which set me off the most was meat, particularly beef. I didn’t have an appetite at all, but found that if I didn’t keep my stomach at least a little full, I got even sicker. So crackers were my constant companion.

I was very relieved when the symptoms stopped at around 12 weeks.  The only time I felt better sooner than that was the one pregnancy I lost to miscarriage. So, with my pregnancies which came after that sad time, I came to take a strange sort of comfort out of being sick. I looked at it as a sign that even though I felt crappy, my pregnancy was still going well. (I was still very grateful that I didn’t feel sick for the whole 9 months, like some unfortunate women I’ve known.)

In research, I’ve discovered that more than half of all women experience morning sickness. The feeling of nausea is often the result of the increased hormonal activity. So, it is pretty normal. (However, my definition of normal is something that happens to somebody else!)

Following are some ways to help your morning (or all day) sickness (thanks to the American Pregnancy Association:)

Eat small snacks all through the day

Drink fluids either before or after the meal, not during.

Drink small amounts of fluid all day long to avoid dehydration

Eat crackers (preferably soda) 15 minutes before getting up in the morning.

Avoid those foods and smells which make you feel sick.

Get plenty of rest and nap during the day.

Heat adds to nausea, so stay cool!

Sniffing lemons or ginger might help. So also might drinking lemonade or eating watermelon (who knew?)

Eating salty potato chips might also help (where were these people when I needed them?)

Light exercise might help (take a walk!)

The good news is that most morning sickness will not hurt the baby (or you!) However, you should call your doctor if you cannot keep any  food or fluids down, or if you have pain or fever with your vomiting. This might indicate a more severe condition.

Most of all, if you feel like your hormones are ganging up on a you, and you cannot continue on, please seek out some help! Give us a call at the Pregnancy Center (402-397-0600.) We would love to talk to you!  Or, tell us your story here. That is what this blog is for.

Keeping it true!  Barb

Shalisa’s story- what should she do?

(Okay, to begin with: I am going to be posting some stories of people I see in my day-to-day work on this blog. However, I will always change the names and details enough that confidentiality will never be broken. I would never betray the trust that has been given to us. )

Shalisa (not real name) went out with a guy who had long been a friend. Just a friend. They were going to hang out- maybe have a few drinks. Well, one thing led to another, and she ended up sleeping with him. Shalisa is not sure what happened. However, the next morning he would not return any of her texts.

Two weeks later her period did not come like it was supposed to. She went into denial. This can’t happen to me, she thought. He wasn’t even a boyfriend. And since that night, he hadn’t even been the friend she thought he was. She wondered if their whole friendship hadn’t been anything but a long set-up to get her in bed. Was she that stupid? She hadn’t even seen it coming.

Day after day passed, and Shalisa kept praying that her period would come. Finally, she came to the AAA Center for a pregnancy test. It was positive. She couldn’t stop crying! She had never believed in abortion- she thought it was a cop-out. If people were going to have sex, they needed to take responsibility for their actions.  In her case, she knew she shouldn’t have been drinking that night, but she felt kind of like a victim. She’d only had sex a couple of times before.

What was she going to do? Her parents were against abortion too, but she knew they would be very disappointed if she said she was prenant. They had such big plans for her! She had them too- and a baby would mess everything up. And yet, an abortion? The thought made her sick. Maybe adoption? Could she carry a baby for that long and then give it up? And yet, she remembered a family at her church. They had been trying to adopt for years. This would be an awesome thing to do for someone like them. 

Right now she just wanted to throw up. Life was a mess!

So, what advice would you have for Shalisa?  Maybe you’ve been in similar circumstances and can share your story. I see women everyday that are facing this same tough decision- only the specific details change.  I’d love to hear what you think!

Keeping it true!  Barb

Think you might be pregnant? Not sure what to do?

Maybe you’ve taken a home pregnancy test and it was positive. If you weren’t trying to get pregnant, that can be a rough moment.  Or, at the very least, it can be confusing. Questions begin to fill your head: What will your family think? Will your boyfriend or husband be happy? Can you afford to have a baby? What are you going to do?

About twenty-six years ago, a group of us sat down and asked ourselves all of those same questions because we wanted to be able to provide a safe place to provide some real answers.  That was when the AAA Center for Pregnancy Counseling was born.  Twenty-six years later we’ve gotten much bigger, but our goal is still the same.

What we do is pretty simple.  We offer a free pregnancy test. If the test is positive, and you are far enough along, we will do a free, limited, obstetric ultrasound.  Our nurses are able to answer your medical questions, and then provide the community referrals which you need.  We are also there to listen to your concerns and to continue to be a friend for as long as you need us. Our complete confidentiality makes us a safe place.

If you want to make an appointment, and you live in the Omaha, Nebraska area, please call our scheduling helpline at 402-397-0600.  You can also check out our website at www.aaacpc.com.

I want this blog to be a place where you can ask questions and share your stories as well.  I am going to try to search the news and the internet to find out information that can help you find the answers you need.  It is my desire to make this blog an extension of what we do at the Center. I’m so glad you found us!

Keeping it true,  Barb

Welcome!

Twenty-five years ago I was blissfully going through life, minding my own business. I had two sons, aged 4 and 2 and a beautiful black-haired newborn daughter (whom I had been told in my ultrasound was a boy, but that is another story.) Soon after Christi was born I heard a speaker talking about the many women in our community who are faced with pregnancies they hadn’t planned on, and without the resources (limited as they were) or the support ( being married and with a great extended family) which I had .

Abortion had been legal in our country eleven years by then, and I was not really sure where I had been. I was in my first year of college in 1973 and I guess I was in a fantasy la-la land- away from home for the first time and swept away with boys, studies, boys, sororities and generally having fun (did I mention boys?) to consider more serious matters. Well, all that thinking about boys must have gotten me somewhere, because I got married three days before graduation and dove head first into my career as a teacher. Matt came along three years later and Andrew 25 months after that. It was two and a half years before a splash of pink entered our world. Life was incredibly crazy but good.

Getting back to the speaker, my mind began to spin as he talked about the thousands of women who were so overwhelmed with their pregnancies that they felt their only recourse was abortion. I’m sure there were a percentage that were choosing that option for other reasons, but my heart immediately turned to those who would have kept their babies except that they had been backed into a frantic corner by desperate circumstances. That day my life changed forever.

Since 1985 I have been on a mission. I know, that sounds very dramatic. However, as the years have gone by layer upon layer of desperate faces have been added to collage which haunts my mind: women who find they are pregnant and then are abandoned by those they love. One sixteen-year-old who had tears in her eyes as she talked about discovering that her boyfriend had also impregnated another girl and was insisting she abort hers. A twenty-year-old, single and newly pregnant, with two toddlers at home- not wanting to abort, but was so sick and exhausted!

So, what am I doing with a blog? First, I want to provide hope to anyone out there that needs it. At the AAA Center for Pregnancy Counseling (which I will refer to as the “Center”) we always have a nurse available, along with a full list of places in Omaha that can provide some real help. Plus, we will provide a non-judgmental, listening ear. If you have no place to turn, we are the place for you!

Second, I want to hear from you! Please write if you have questions, or if you have a story to share. Or, drop me a line if you just need to talk! This is a safe place (as is the Center) and I really do care.

Keeping it true! Barb